It's odd how three years have seemed like such a long time yet it still seems recent at the same time. I've long since learned how to deal with the loss, though I couldn't put into words what I do. I miss her, I always will. But I guess I've resigned myself to knowning that I'm not going to see her for a while. It still makes me cry when I think about it. I don't know if it would have worked out with us or not, but I'd sure like to think it would have.
They say everything happens for a reason. I disagree. No good reason for this has shown up yet, and I doubt it ever will. Surely it changed the course of my life, but for better or worse, I don't know. I'm pretty happy with my life now, but I can't help but wonder how things would be if she were still alive.
I feel selfish talking about it like this, since I'm certainly not the only one who hurts. But I can only speak for myself. She was an incredible person, and I'm not the only one who noticed. Wherever she is, whatever she's doing, I hope she's having a good time. Until I see her again, I'll try to smile and remember the good times we had, since I know she wouldn't want me to be sad about it. But when I remember that phone call the morning after... mom crying as she told me what happened... denial... the Kinseys... California... the service... Ocean Point. It just hurts. I'll always love her, and I'll be looking forward to seeing her again.
1 comment:
Will
Really touching comments, so things are incredibly difficult to understand. Think of how precious and unique life really is.
Well, I almost sank the boat this weekend. We went over to Blaine because it was forcast to be the coldest in a decade, we didn't want the hoses or heat exchanger to freeze and break. The engine raw water seacock was closed, I unscrewed the drain plug for the rawwater filter and the water statted draining, and kept draining, until it was obvious that the seacock was broken and the water kept rushing in, I thank heaven that I didn't drop the stupid screw in the bilge, the water kept coming in I couldnb't get the screw in place, the bilge high water alarm fired off, the pump turned om.still couldn't get the screw in. My fat body is crammed into an imposiable position, and finally after about a dozen trys I was able to get it screwed in. So we rushed about and found that Seminahmo could haul us out on monday. The guy running the lift was a newbie, and jerked the boat up and down, slipped the straps, but finally got it in the air without breaking anything. Then of course the harried hustle to find a replacement valve. True to this boat one was 1/2 and the other 3/4. At any rate after hanging in the srraps for about 5hrs we were able to replace it. and back in the water- with no leaks, at least not any we know about. It could be underwater now for all we know.
And to make a long story short. The hassle of being 6 hrs from the boat, all the work and all the money we are spending to keep it float we have decided to list it with a broker. So you may see it on Yachtworkd in the near future. Sorry we were just becoming to terms with our existence, No one is goin to make us younger, or give us the financial freedom to take off. So a sad lifestyle realization for us as well
The old man
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